Improv(e)

Improv comedy’s key is the “Yes, and…” rule of thumb.

While an improvisational skit may start with a particular prompt or situation, it could go anywhere. The first speaker chooses a path, for example, "we're in a yellow submarine".

Saying "No, we're in my childhood bedroom", or even "Yes, but the sub is purple" kills the playfulness, the possibilities, the paths in which the skit can go.

So, you accept whatever your fellow improv comedian says—and then you're free to add your own something into the mix, like "and it's Christmas in July."

Another way to think about this is "acceptance plus*" (That is, we accept the situation we are in. And then ask ourselves: “what can I do with it?”

I came to accept I'd never be a grade A student. And then I realized I could still learn. And I probably learned more than the A students: they were working for the grades— and what those might get them: approval of teachers and parents, acceptance to higher-ranked college, the status that brings… Whereas my motivation was internal. While the 4.0 crowd learned at the speed of the syllabus, I jumped around. I skimmed over what bored me, dove in deep elsewhere. Often the parts of books NOT on the syllabus interested me most. I wondered, is this my subtle intellectual rebellion? Did I see that as the proverbial forbidden fruit? Or maybe my teachers had bad, boring tastes. In any case, I saw that was not just learning intellectually, but socially, emotionally, psychologically—and most important: learning about myself.

I accepted eventually I'd never be a great employee. My bosses’ approval didn’t motivate me so much. I'd never climb those corporate (or other organizational) hierarchies. And, over time, I realized I didn't need to. I could find my own path, build my own organizations (if I chose to). And I have. And I realized I'm happier from it. I'm healthier from it. My contributions have both accumulated and lasted.

I became aware and accepted that I'm not so conscientious (conscientiousness is the Big Five psychological trait—often known by the acronym OCEAN or CANOE—most associated with success).

And then I realized for me to work diligently and to focus, I really had to be engaged by the task or project. Projects needed to appeal to my values, use my talents and my ways of being: how I processed information, dealt with people, saw the world… And in that engagement I found flow. And flow brought me more focus—and fulfillment. Rinse, repeat. A virtuous circle.

[Does this need a conclusion?]

At any point I could’ve said no or even Hell now and the full story is sometimes I did. I got treated for depression hi I had somatic psychosomatic problems herniated disc include that I I miss

[insert the whole body revolts I knees then I could’ve said yes but OK buckle down strove, struggled. Dig my heels in

This is the typical advice just do it

*technically it's "awareness + acceptance + _____", since our our biggest blind spots are the half of our eyeballs facing inward.